Are you looking for the one or are you open for the one?
Looking for vs being open
Two different words, two different worlds,
It is all about the intention at the root of your actions,
It is all about the energy that you embody
When you are looking for the one …
… You come from a place of fear
You put too much pressure on every encounter that you make. After all, when you are looking for the one, every man that you meet is potentially the man with whom you will spend the rest of life. When you adopt this perspective, you have so much pressure that you don’t really enjoy your dates with him. You don’t take the time to know him as a person, as who he really is. You ignore possible red flags and you invest too much emotionally, from early on.
…You come from a place of scarcity
With fairy tales, the idea of a prince charming rescuing us from our boring life has been deeply engrained in our minds. The man we marry has become for many of us a quest, an end in itself. But real life doesn’t function like fairy tales.
We have the idea that there is only one person for us and we better not miss her. But the truth is, we are compatible with hundred of thousands persons around the world. Of course, we want a man with whom we can spend the rest of our life. But this is not something we can control. If there is not a divorce, there will be death. Our relationship with our partner is a means to attain something higher than ourselves. It cannot be an end in itself.
…You come from a place of desperation
When we are looking for the one, we are in chasing mode. When we chase men, we give off a desperate vibe.
Our energy says that we have no choice. And when we have no choice, we have no power.
When we have no power,
That’s when we accept crumbs,
That’s when we stay months, years with a man without any commitment,
That’s when we see sex as a way to make a man commit to us,
That’s when we give wife/long term partner privileges to a man who, at best, considers us as his girlfriend.
When you are open for the one…
…You come from a place of love
You stay fully in the present while you keep an eye on the future. You feel loved. You know that you will be in a long term, exclusive relationship with someone, and it is just a matter of time before you meet him. You enjoy the process of getting to know several men with different personalities. You discover new persons, new places and you approach every encounter that you make as a way to learn something on yourself and on others.
…You come from a place of abundance
When you are open, you create space. When you have space, you get more opportunities. And when you have more opportunities, you have choice. All you have to do is to be. To be in your feminine energy and to receive from men and from life in general. You get to have several men courting you, which prevents you from investing too much energy on one man. You trust life and your destiny. You get to understand that no matter what happens in your life, masculine energy will always be here to take care of you, in some way or another.
…You come from a place of hope & dignity
The more you spend time knowing different persons, the more you know what you want and what you don’t want and the more you become confident. If it doesn’t work with someone, you are not devastated; you think, “If not him, there is someone better for me” and you move on. You don’t feel the need to give anything to someone who is not committed to you because you know your value. And that’s what enables you to have an objective view on the men you meet.
You may think…
But…isn’t it too liberal?
There is nothing more conservative than going out with several men before getting the commitment you want. When you date this way, you get to know several different men by going out with them and sharing different activities: restaurants, museum, golf etc…during this dating phase, there is absolutely nothing physical.
It is instead a powerful way to naturally skim men who just want you for sex or to take care of them. This way, only men who value you stay in the race and you save yourself time as well as headaches.
And…isn’t it a little manipulative?
Absolutely not! When dating, you owe absolutely nothing to a man who doesn’t offer you the commitment that you expect.
Being open is being in your feminine power
Nature shows us countless representations of what being open means for a woman. To illustrate this principle, there is no better analogy than the egg and the sperms. Does the egg chase the sperms? Does the egg go after only one sperm? No, the egg is here and it just is. What a powerful representation of feminine power!
Your time has value
When dating, it is very important to keep in mind that the relationship to time is very different for men and women. Our thinking is influenced by our biology: men and women haven’t the same biological clock. We women have a limited time to procreate while men can still procreate well into their 70s. That’s why you rarely see men rushing into commitment. That’s why we don’t approach a relationship the same way men do, no matter if we want kids or not. The time that you spend exclusively with a man without commitment costs you way more than it costs him.